UPDATE BEFORE YOU COME BACK

SO I have no internet connection at home (it's so shaky and works like between 2 and 4 am and those are hours when I'm asleep because yes I'm back into a normal sleeping pattern so I can't really use it) so I'm currently in my school's Library at lunch break. I'm really sorry I had no time to update you before but I was really really busy and I also had lots of work to do because there are things I need to catch up on academically speaking and it's quite time consuming.
So, first things first, I think we could begin by saying I like it a LOT LOT LOT here. I attend every class and find interest in it and everything is new and thrilling and I feel like I belong here. I don't feel too out of place: I thought my level would be sufficient but turns out I honestly am better at least at oral language than most people so I'm a little reassured. I have many classes: Literature, Linguistics, Phonetics, Oral language, Written language, Civilisation/history and honestly all of them are enjoyable.
Socially speaking I talked to a few people who turn out to be really cool so there's that, and it makes me happy. THey have no idea what my previous school was (eg elite school with only carefully picked student) so they were all impressed when they heard me speak English, they thought I was gonna suck, I laughed internally lol I got trained like a competitor in Maths, English, History and Philosphy/literature for 3 years before business school so yeah... But I said I learnt mostly thanks to TV show because it's almost true and I didnt want to sound like a bitch o.
I made the decision to do sport this yeaer and since I never manage to stick to it well... I found a way to force myself: I made the unniversity volleyball team. It's not like it's competitive or anything, it's mostly chill with only a few games and mainly training every week, but the university put a system into place that improves your semester GPA if you attend every week of training so it's a win win situation: I work out and I get better grades. THat's cool!
This week end I'm going to Paris for one of my friends' birthday and to see my best friend because I miss her and hopefully I'm gonna have a cool weekend. My mom told me we got a letter from Kath for me at home but she hasn't had time to mail it to me yet because she caught the flu and couldn't leave her bed, ho well.

Cimorelli speaking, they put up the Royals cover and the Wrecking Ball cover is gonna be up today and I cross my fingers you'll be back by thenn but I don't think so but yeah and the album is officially not gonna be out in 2013 they said early 2014 I'm aiming for summer even though christina said it would be out before that. I'll talk to you soon I have to go back to class IM SO EXCITED FOR YOU TO BE BACK
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

September 16th

Dear Mel,
Oh my gosh, today was my first day at the university and I was so nervous because what if people didn't like me or what if I didn't understand anything to the classes you know??? So. I had to go ask someone where my class was because the website didn't work. They told me and I found the place without a problem. I sat alone in the lecture room but then a chinese exchange student asked me something and I didn't know the answer so the girl in front of me answered and we started to talk and turns out she is new too. She's cool, I think her name is Alice (but I'm not sure I'm bad at names holy moly) and she's 25 which is cool because I always get along better with people a little older than me in real life. We talked a little during class and then class ended (it was interesting btw) and she went back home for lunch. I stayed on the campus and ate a real lunch for the first time in... in a long time so I was proud of myself. Then I saw my sister who was SO nervous about her own first day and then I went back to class for 2 more hours and I sat near the girl I had talked to in the morning and it was really cool and then we talked a little and she's really nice and yeah I'm looking forward to next week because I know I'm gonna have way more classes and it's gonna be intense and I LOVE INTENSE.
ALSO the girls filmed Wrecking Ball this week end I so hope you'll be there when it comes out, I want to fangirl with you.
I love you so much ♥

September 12th + update on the missing days

Dear Mel,
Lately my connection has been the most annoying thing in this world and to be honest I didn't really try too hard to make it better because I was focused on getting things done in my new life.
On Tuesday, I had this meeting-one-hour-thing where they explained us things about the upcoming classes. There are many people in my class, around 80, and soon we'll be sorted into groups, but we'll also have classes with the whole class. All the teachers came to speak and one of them already said we were supposed to have the book read by next tesday so... I have a lot of reading to do!
I freaked out a little because this is all so new, but not too much because I noticed I wasn't the only one who seemed new and alone and I guess I'm gonna be able to make friends. Classes start on monday and I finally made the final paperwork to be officially enrolled here so things are looking good (except the website won't give me my timetable but WELLLLLLLLLLLL I guess I'll find out what room I'm in on Monday. Hopefully.)
I spent my days finishing paperwork, and readng. I also went to the movies with my sister! We saw The Butler and it really IS a great movie!
THere's drama in the fandom. Jonathan. As usual. You don't even know how much I dislike him. ANd I can't stand how he victimizes young girls and still everyone is like "let it go". No. I won't. Ugh.
ANyway. Lauren and Dani uploaded a cute video about what girls really think, and I think that's about all.
I'll keep you updated as much as possible.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. ♥

September 5th-6th-7th-8th

I SPENT ALL THOSE DAYS READING AND WATCHING GOSSIP GIRL AND I SWEAR NOTHING AT ALL HAPPENED???????
omg I'm so scared for Tuesday though, it's the big back to school day I might as well go hide inn a corner already amlfdklfkdl
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ♥♥

September 4th

Today wasn't really the best day BUT highlight of the day I bought like 6 books (goodbye money hello culture ha). And you came back for literally 4 minutes and I missed you online for LITERALLY 2 MNUTES I WAS SO MAD OMG.
I made the decision to stay away from social media for a while to focus on what's important: the university, reading, LIFE.
But I'll keep updating the blog because I love updating.
Oh wait did I tell you about the girls' cover of Roar? Not their best but... Well.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

SEPTEMBER 3RD

I ONLY HAVE ONE THING TO SAY ABOUT TODAY I GOT ACCEPTED IN 3RD YEAR OF ENGLISH IN THE UNIVERSITY IM YODELING AND CLASSES START NEXT TUESDAY IM HAPPY

September 1st and September 2nd

YES I KNOW AGAIN AN ARTICL ABOUT TWO DAYS IT'S BECAUSE YET AGAIN ONE OF THOSE DAYS CONSISTED OF ME WAKING UP AT 5.30 PM THAT CANT GO ON UGH UGH UGH.
Anyway.
In those two days the girls put a new cover out, and it's Roar, so the song is not THAT great but I found it nice to here more harmonies than we usually do on a pre recorded cover here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXY46dsNXHg
The girls are in NorCal at the moment, spending time with their family and their friends, Angela and Elli posted pics with Lauren and Dani, everyone seems heppy heppy heppy

As for me, well I spent the day with my sister on Sunday, we ate MacDonalds and went walking the streets and shopping (well kinda, we didn't buy anything o) and then to the movies (I spend my life there, basically, have you noticed?) and then I went back home and waited for the cover to be posted and then I went to sleep at 6 so that didn't really help me to hve a heatly sleeping pattern, see what I mean? Hence the me waking up at 5.30 pm and doing nothing all day on monday. Now I'm pulling out an all nighter so I will fall asleep early tonight and finally get a sleeping pattern back.

Jonathan drama is back and this time I think I'm gonna have to really get mad at the girls so they will finally put an end to it because I can't keep my mouth shut anymore and he NEEDS to be oficially stopped. I'll tell yoe verything when you come back because I'm not really feeling like explaining all that publicly, there again, I don't know who can read that haha.

I tried to kik you just for old times's sake and it sent me the "Apparently Mel's phone has been disconnected for a while" message and it made me cry a little,  but at the same time I realised how proud of you I am. I love you so much Mel, and I can't wait till you come back, but I also know you're safe where you are, and you're actually getting better.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. ♥

August 30th and August 31st

SO SO SO you thought I had forgotten you right? But no, it's just that officially August 30th was the most uneventful day of my life, I woke up at 1pm and went to sleep around 9pm I'm not even kidding, that was THE day man, and I stayed in bed all day oh well oh well.
BUT BUT BUT Today August 31st kinda made up for it, I mean, it was quite a good day! I went shopping, and tried on a dress I fell in love with and it was a size 1 so I was like "never fitting in that man" and turns out it was too big so I was both mad and happy and I ddnn't buy it but yeah. I went to the movies (again!!!!) on my own (again!!!!!!) and I saw "Jobs" and it was actually pretty cool (and ashton kutcher is KINDA HOT which wasn't the worst thing about that movie you feel me). ANd then I got great news from someone but I can't say it publicly but I'll DM you about that ok because we never know who could read?
I love you so much.

August 29th

Dear Mel,

So what's up? Well the girls are getting bigger by the minute or at least it feels like that?? They spent their time doing interviews with J14 and Nakedmag and other magazines and being at their label's office.

Sweetyhigh finally put out their interview from the el rey 

https://t.co/ROEav6xpaB

As far as I'm concerned, it was a good day, I went outside and met up with a friend and we had a great time just talking and walking in the streets and yeah it was cool.

It was pretty uneventful though, I might go to the movies again tomorrow.

I love you so much ♥

Lou

August 28th - First day without you

Dear Mel,
I hope everything is going fine but also it's the first day so I don't doubt it's really hard! So today what did I do? Well I went to MacDonalds to see the girls on the GMA livestream because I thought their connection would be better than mine. Turns out it really wasn't haha so I couldn't watch it live and had to wait for a replay and tbh I cried because they really did great and I really love them so freaking much. And then you left so... I felt rather bad and cried a little because I don't like goodbyes and I took a three hour nap after talking to Zoey and Reena a little and yeah other than that it was a rather uneventful day on my side.
The girls did so many things I swear, they went to Good Morning America, and then they had this meet and greet at this cute cupcake thing and in between they squeezed an interview with J-14 in. Like. HOW??? And this girl, Clara, who's french and went to the El Rey, met them again today and I was literally so happy for her and I cried in front of her pictures...
Oh also Twitter made an pdate even on computers and I swear it's the worst thing ever because whenever someone replies to someone else the message they replied to appears just above with some kind of link between them and that just makes it very confusing and I hate it.
I love you so much ♥
Lou

August 27th - You're not gone yet but I NEED TO SHARE THE LOVE

Dear Mel,

So, you're still here for a few hours, a few hours before you go and you know I'm really happy you're going away for a while because you're definitely doing that for all the right reasons and I believe it's gonna do you good. But I would lie if I said I wasn't gonna miss you.

I don't even know how come we started talking but in the span of ten minutes we had already said SO MUCH about each other and I just knew from that point that we were definitely gonna have something special. I have trust issues, always have, always will, but I knew from the start that you were someone I could trust with the darkest things about me because you're just awesome like that and most importantly because the trust was mutual.

I care about you so much, and I don't think you even truly realise and it breaks my heart to see that you are going through rough moments and having hard times and think you're bothering me if you talk about it. I want you to know I will always be here and those aren't just words, I'm here ALWAYS and you basically never bother me. You don't realise how great it is to talk to you. You don't realise how amazing you are, and no matter how much I repeat this won't sink in because you just don't see it, but you're an incredible human being and I'm not gonna stop telling you because I KNOW that some day you'll finally be ready to believe me.

You brought so many great things in my life, and I'm so glad I found someone like you. You're one of the few people I met online that I actually consider my friend, and I just realise I was right to trust you a little more everytime we talk. You know, I remember telling you that story about that princess who didn't like her name. And I still think that's real. You're that princess and you're gonna do great. You will get the help you need and come back being BETTER. There are a few people I believe in and you're one of them and like I don't believe in you in the "i believe in you hello pressure" way, I'm just confident that you will find your way.

You're a brilliant young lady. You'll be an OUTSTANDING therapist someday if that's still what you want to do with your life, because you just get people, and you can actually help them because everything you are is amazing, every bit of you is special, and everything you are is literally GREAT and AWESOME.

Mel you are going to get better, it's going to be better, I promise you. Please don't be sorry for having to go away. It's hard for the (many) people who love you but you can't let that get to you, you MUST NOT let that get to you. We're staying here and we'll wait until you come back, and we'll be alright while you're away fixing the things you need to fix. You don't have to apologise for doing what's right for yourself, you're doing the right thing, the bravest things you could have done and honestly yeah I'm a little sad that we'll get to interact less with you but I'm so proud of you that it just hides everything else and i'll support you from afar and you'll be in my thoughts and not just in mine. Every single person you ever talked to in this fandom loves you and all they want is for you to be happy. There is no miracle, we both know that, but you're on your way sweetie, and you'll get there I'm absolutely positive.

Some day we'll meet and we'll laugh thinking about those days we were fangirling over a girlsband. Some day, we'll meet and drink that well deserved tea together. Some day we'll meet and we'll go shopping and have fun all day long. Some day we'll meet and I promise you I'll hug you for at least 10 hours straight because holy shit you don't even know how much I wish I could hug you right now. It's hard to let you go but I can only imagine how HARDER it is for you so PLEASE don't worry about me, don't worry about us, we're going to be fine! Just worry about YOURSELF for a while, for as long as you need actually, because you deserve that so much. You're not in charge of anyone but yourself, you're the one who taught me that, so I think it's time to remind you of that. There are things, circumstances, that you cant change, that you have to live with, but you ARE changng the rest for the better Mel, you are doing that because you're an amazingly incredible person and you're just so amazing I'm running out of words?????

There's only so long one person can take without facing their own problems and focusing on themselves, you need to do it and you deserve the right to do it. I'm so incredibly proud of you, I don't think you know how much, and it's good because you'd think I'm a total psycho. But seriously, you did this amazing step, and this is the best and bravest thing you could have done for yourself.

I love you Mel. So fucking much. And I can't wait until you come back, but I will be patient and keep encouraging you from afar. If you ever feel like giving up, just remember that I'm hugging you VERY VERY tight from across the ocean. Remember that I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. Remember how we cry together over those 6 freaking white girls. Remember the great things and just look forward to living them FULLY when you're back.

This message is probably the messiest thing I've ever written in my life with no structure whatsoever but yeah I hope you understand how much I love you, how proud of you I am and that I'm not going anywhere, I'll be there when you come back, no matter how long it takes. I'll be here to ask yo a fuckton of questions, I'll be here to witness how much better you're going to get. I'll be here whatever happens, I promise.

I love you to pieces.